Proverbs 31:19-27

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

There is a painting that I love and it was created by Harvey Dunn, one of the premier American illustrators of the early 20th century. Born on the prairies of South Dakota, Dunn became an illustrator of the Brandywine School. He studied under Howard Pyle and was contemporary of other greats such as N.C. Wyeth, Mayfield Parrish, and Norman Rockwell. 

Dunn enlisted in the U.S. Army during WWI and in the thick of the fighting he illustrated the battles and the men who fought them. Upon retuning home in 1919 he became an educator. Late in life he painted one of his greatest works: an image of the prairie where he had grown up—and an example of the tough, noble pioneers who settled it.  

The painting is featured above and is titled, The Prairie Is My Garden. It features a simple prairie woman, herself probably a child of this remote region. She stands with her two young children amid a sea of wildflowers. She is a picture of strength and beauty that seems to balance both love and fierceness at once. [Here is a beautiful song by Eliza Blue inspired by this very painting.]

When you look at it, your eye is taken to the vantage point. In this case, her rustic farm in the distance. It is a homestead that speaks of both hard work and comfort. Your eye is immediately captured by her: she stands tall above the horizon, commanding all she sees. Her eye is wary, for she gazes into the distance. Is a rider approaching? Perhaps a prairie storm on the horizon? 

In one hand is a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She has obviously been cutting them with her little girls, one of whom stands alertly behind her, catching her same pose—while the other, small and unaware, obliviously plays on the ground. The flowers on one hand speak of welcome and a happy home, but the knife seems suddenly poised as if for defense. 

She is a woman to be admired and perhaps loved, but she not a woman to be trifled with. 

Solomon captures just such a fierce beauty in Proverbs chapter 31. “The Proverbs 31 Woman” is often used as a benchmark for Christian women and wives on how to live and manage a home. This ideal of womanhood can seem impossible to reach—and it is—for she is meant to inspire if she cannot be copied. Tim Keller explains:

Those who are saved by Christ love these texts as guides to pleasing and resembling the One who saved us.  The Gospel produces people who are eager to obey those patterns and not be crushed by them.–Tim Keller

For Solomon, the “Valiant Wife” of this chapter is a picture of Lady Wisdom and a fine guide for young women to emulate, and young men to pursue. For you and I, she is seen as both this and something far deeper: the Valiant Wife is also a picture of the church—the bride of Christ. 

The first part of this chapter explores the Valiant Wife’s industry, as she builds her skills in her home and in business. In this section we see the effect that this has on her husband, her community, and perhaps even the nation. Let’s look at her:

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.–Proverbs 31:19

This verse is a “Janus,” meaning that it connects the previous passages with those that follow either in subject, style or both. Here, you are reminded that the Valiant Wife is not afraid of hard work, and she will soon put her hands to more and greater use. Her holding of “spindles” indicates that more than making thread, she uses it to make two- and three-ply yarn for more and finer things that find use in her family and with those in need:

20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.–Proverbs 31:20

The Valiant Wife is always mindful of where the end product of her work is going: first to her own household, and then to others who are in need. Her husband, the elders in the gate, even the king all decide larger issues and policies, her mission is to meet physical needs. It is essential than that those in position of power seek not only to address needs in society, but to also enable the people to help one another, and not to hinder them in doing so. 

She is a prosperous woman but is mindful of the physical needs of those in her sphere of influence or personal mission field. For she knows that all of her work and all of her blessings do not truly belong to her. Tim Keller again:

A lack of generosity refuses to acknowledge that your assets are not really yours, but God’s.–Tim Keller  

Do you have this same mission in your heart? Do you seek your own glory—or the glory of the Lord? In an age of high inflation and diminishing resources you may be tempted to hoard or give sparingly, but never forget that when you give you are giving Christ’s love to others. We are to be imitators of God…and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us…(Ephesians 5:1-2)

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.–Proverbs 31:21

This passage speaks of “snow,” but not in a cuddly “sledding and chicken soup by the fireplace” sort of way. Snow can be deadly to crops and livestock, as well as to her family. Here you see that the Valiant Wife has industry and vision to work to prepare her family for danger. The “lioness” of verse 15 shows her claws in verse 21. 

There is a picture here of modern home defense, perhaps. If you are a wife, mother, or grandmother, are you prepared to physically defend your family and home from evildoers? Or do you rely solely on your husband, your neighbor, or the police? You may have physical limitations, but it is wise to understand potential dangers and how to face them—even to defend your life and those in your care.

That her household is “clothed in scarlet” reminds you that this is no half-measure. Dangerous seasons or times call for proper measures, and here the valiant wife does so in a way that shows she provides quality care. 

In a picture of the church as Christ’s bride, does your mission of outreach seek to provide quality relief to the poor in your congregation and community? Food drives often net expired food and useless items like “pie filling” that would be best tossed out. To help those in need may require you to provide the same quality care you do your own family.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.–Proverbs 31:22

Lastly, the Valiant Wife is to take care of herself. She may be last in her own thoughts, but certainly not last in the quality of her “self-care.” She decorates with quality “tapestry” and her clothing is of a quality that reflects her own role as a leader in her household and a ministry partner with her husband. As a wife or husband, do you pay attention to your appearance, the way you dress? "Denying self" is a biblical principle, but one that is often misunderstood or misused. To deny yourself to benefit others is noble, but to deny yourself with the idea that abstinence somehow makes you better may be missing the point. Perhaps your husband would like you to take care of your appearance. Perhaps your wife would appreciate you cleaning up and presenting yourself in a more pleasing manner. C.S. Lewis shares a thought on this:

The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point.–C.S. Lewis, “The Weight of Glory” 

“Purple” cloth was much sought after in ancient times, for the rare murex dye originated with the Phoenicians. In the New Testament, Lydia was a seller of purple from the city of Thyatira (Acts 16:14) and was Paul’s first convert in Philippi. Like the Valiant Wife, Lydia became a vital ministry partner for a vibrant new church. 

23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.–Proverbs 31:23

The passage shifts here from the Valiant Wife to present the image of her husband. He is no louse who abuses her or takes her industry, resilience, and faithfulness for granted. As his partner in life, she enables him to take his place “among the elders of the land” where he is a leader in the community. Her success leads to and enables his success. 

Are you an enabler of your spouses success? Do you seek to enhance the prestige of your spouse, even at your own expense? Likewise, if you are the recipient of the benefits of a faithful and hard working wife or husband, are you grateful? All too often a husband and wife will compete for glory in their marriage. Resentment can build when proper appreciation is not shown—or when one hinders the other with grumbling, nagging, or even sabotage. How can you work together to promote and benefit each other?

In this manner the church serves to benefit and promote Christ in this world and the success of the Gospel. A church that squabbles or gets “off mission” can become a hindrance to presenting Christ to those who need to hear His name and see His love in action.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.–Proverbs 31:25-26

Here the passage begins to come full circle back to the main thought. “Strength and honor” are sometimes translated “power and splendor” and bespeak of the Valiant Wife’s reputation and her godliness. As her husband, his co-workers, and their community admire her, she grows stronger in her convictions and faithfulness. She does not rail against “the patriarchy,” but beats it at its own game by becoming an indispensable part of her family and community. 

The “law of kindness” on her lips is like Christ’s “law of love.” As in Jesus’s “greatest commandment” expressed in Matthew 22:37-40, the Valiant Wife loves the Lord her God with all her heart, with all her soul, and with all her mind—and then loves her neighbor as herself.  

She knows that all of her linen-weaving, vineyard-buying, household-providing, and husband-promoting work comes to nothing if it is not all for the glory of God. With this in her heart, she stands guard, bouquet in hand, knife poised to defend—or continue to cut flowers. Always with an eye on the horizon:

27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.–Proverbs 31:27

Men, do you have a woman like this? Do you lead and love your wife with honor and sacrificial love that enables her to be valiant? Women, are you competing with your husband, or completing him in Christ to love and give even undeserved grace? 

In your church do you thrive on gossip, complain about politics, and talk sports and entertainment more than the Gospel of Jesus Christ when you fellowship? There are needy within your walls and the poor outside your door. In a land with a famine for the Word of God (Amos 8:11-12), live as the valiant bride of Christ! 

The Monday—Friday DEEPs are written by Mike Slay and this Saturday Deep is written by Matt Richardson. To subscribe to all the DEEPs click here:

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Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV stands for the English Standard Version. © Copyright 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved. NIV stands for The Holy Bible, New International Version®. © Copyright 1973 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. KJV stands for the King James Version.