Hoping, I suppose, that bodily exercise might profit more than just a little, Donna Richardson Joyner presents her new workout videos, "Body Gospel," to help you get just the "beachbody" you've always wanted.

Her TV ad features in the background a lively, inter-racial Gospel choir, decked out in gold robes and "moving with the Spirit", we might say, as they ply some barely intelligible spiritual lyric. In the foreground, meanwhile, men and women in workout garb mimic the moves of the choir, "sweating in the Spirit," the narrator tells us, to lose those pounds and tone up their abs.

This $400 DVD offer is available for only two payments of $39.39 each, plus, of course, shipping and handling.

Well, what are you waiting for? Here is the ultimate wedding of the desires of the flesh with the happiness of Jesus: Get a new body in the Name of the Lord. The website features lots of pictures of scantily-clad men and ladies showing off their great success at shedding the pounds and "lengthening" their muscles. And there are several different workout series from which to choose.

In the Christian community we can't get people to take too seriously the "toning-up" of their souls through spiritual disciplines. However, these new Gospel bodily discipline DVDs will undoubtedly sell like hotcakes.

Pardon me while I turn over the nearest table.

T. M. Moore