Growing into Christ (3)

For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother. Philemon 7

Spiritual Friendship
Aelred of Rievaulx (1109-1167)
“A human being without a friend is like a beast: for he lacks someone with whom he can share his joy in prosperity and his sadness in adversity, to whom he may unburden his mind when he is preoccupied, with whom he may talk whenever he has had a particularly sublime or illuminating insight…That person is completely alone who has no friend.”

St. Brigid (d. 525 AD) said that a man without a spiritual friend is like a man without a head. He can’t think clearly, can’t see the world as it really is, and doesn’t even know what’s wrong with him. He has no one else to understand his struggles and help him along in the journey into Christlikeness. Aelred says that those who have no friends are like beasts – competing for everything, wary of everyone, consumed only with, well, consuming. We are made for community, and community begins at the personal level, where soul friends challenge, encourage, hold accountable, edify, and lead one another to grow in the Lord. True spiritual friends care about our souls and seek, like Philemon, to bring refreshment and renewal to our hearts, that we might know joy and comfort. This is what it means to be a true spiritual friend, and this is the pattern for disciple-making the Lord through the Scriptures commends.

To whom are you a true spiritual friend like this? What is keeping you from being a soul friend with others?

T. M. Moore

Are you a soul friend?
What is the role of soul friendship in your work of making disciples? Are you cultivating an environment of mutual friendship, caring, and encouragement, or are you just running a program? Write to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., and we’ll send you a copy of our free brochure on Soul Friends. Make copies for yourself and all those you are discipling, then meet to discuss how your work together can become a fellowship of true friendship into the Lord.

Pastoral Hope Initiative
Pastor, where are you in your walk with and work for the Lord? Are you growing? Covering all the bases? Working fruitfully toward the Kingdom of God? Our Pastoral Hope Initiative can help you establish a framework and baseline for steady, fruitful growth into the Lord Jesus; and for the remainder of this spring, we’re waiving the fee for men who want to work through this 14-week protocol. Watch this brief video, then, if you’re interested, let me hear from you at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

The Fellowship of Ailbe is supported through the generous and faithful gifts of those who benefit from and believe in our work. Does the Lord want to use you in this way? Please look to Him in prayer over this question. You can contribute to The Fellowship of Ailbe by using the Contribute button at our website, or by sending your gift to The Fellowship of Ailbe, 19 Tyler Drive, Essex Junction, VT 05452. Thank you.

Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.All quotations from Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship, tr. By Mark F. Williams (Scranton: The University of Scranton Press, 1994, 2002).