Psalm 46 speaks of the earth giving way and the mountains being throw into the sea. Most pastors, in my experience, are not afraid of these things. What they are afraid of, however, is “insignificance”. A lot of pastoral anxiety is rooted in feeling “insignificant”. What would make you feel more significant? A growing congregation? People raving about your sermons? Budget surpluses? People being more diligent about their walk with the Lord?
When things are on the “up-tick” in enough of these areas we tend to feel “significant”. When too many of these things are “in flux” we feel the looming darkness of “insignificance.” This darkness can be a soul-deep depression that is hard to shake. It is akin to the paralyzing fear that you are not making the grades and in danger of failing out of school, or the ministry, or life. I have found the allure of “significance” to be a dangerous enemy of my soul and a weapon wielded well in the hand of the enemy. Insignificance can feel like extinction. It is tantamount to the “earth giving way and the mountains being thrown into the sea.”
How does God respond to our fear of feeling insignificant? Not by reminding us how big and significant we are, but by reminding us how big and significant HE is. And by reminding us that he is with us. So the psalmist says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” And then he says this, “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.” Rivers keep cities alive and people happy. In the endless struggle for significance we have forgotten that the most significant thing, and the only thing that matters, is God and the life and joy that he alone can bring to his people.
So God is beckoning us to the banks of this river, to sit there for a while, to take in its melodious sounds, and be still. This is the “river of life”! Fear drowns in this river and life begins. (Rev. 22:1)
