If Only

Our souls hunger and thirst for the Lord.

As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

   – Psalm 42.1, 2

My soul is like a land without water.
My bowels burned as if with fire.
May my heart burn with the fire of Your love and fear,
Your love and holy fear which knows not how to yield.

   – The Prayers of Moucan, Irish, 8th-9th century

Do we long for the presence of God with a burning thirst that can only be quenched by His living water? 

For many of us, our souls are like deserts, gasping to be irrigated by the waters of reviving grace; yet we are scarcely aware of the drought conditions that obtain there. If only our hearts were like that of the psalmist, “When, Lord? When can I get a few moments alone with You?”

Moucan knew whereof we speak. His soul was parched and burning. He prayed that his heart – the seat of all our affections, the “wellspring of all being”, as Edwards put it – would burn with fire from and for the Lord. He longed to love and fear the Lord so much that his soul would not know how to yield to sin, but only to the good and perfect will of God.

If only that were our great desire and longing as well! “What does the Lord require of you,” our gracious God demands to know? “To fear the Lord Your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him…” (Deut. 12.12). If only we understood that what God wants from us above all else is that we fear and love Him, our souls on fire with longing to be in His presence, hungry to commune with Him, slaked and satisfied only by looking into the face of Jesus and beholding the glory of God there (2 Cor. 4.6).

We waste our most sincere affections on trivial matters, while love for God grows dry and dusty and our souls wither. Our souls hunger for the early and latter rains of God’s refreshing presence, yet we have become sadly accustomed to the drought that parches our minds, hearts, and consciences.

If only we could begin each day and remember to plead with God throughout the day, “May my heart burn with the fire of Your love and fear!”

If only…

Psalm 42.1-3 (Nettleton: “Come, Thou Fount”)
As the deer pants for fresh water let my soul, Lord, pant for You!
Let my soul thirst as it ought to for the Savior, ever true!
Tears by day have been my portion, tears by night have been my food,
While my foes add to my sorrow, saying, “Where now is your God?”

Lord, give and grant and impart to me Your holy grace, and Your Holy Spirit, to protect me and preserve me from all my sins, and to kindle in me all righteousness. Adapted from Litany of Jesus II