2 Corinthians 7:5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn -fighting without and fear within. -ESV
This verse comforts me. To think that Paul was admitting to having fears tells me how very human was the great apostle. Though I can never compare my ministry or my suffering with Paul’s I do share one thing: fear. But it is not a fear of economic distress, or a fear of physical violence, or the loneliness of frontline mission work. Instead it is what I can only describe as the fears of a common pastor. “Am I pleasing to God? Am I rightly dividing the Word of truth? Am I a caring shepherd? Am I loving my wife the way God wants me to? Will my children serve God? Am I defending the flock? Will I be able to overcome my weaknesses? Are my people being fed? Am I too much a man pleaser? Am I too callous? Have I become cynical? Am I leading? Am I a man of vision? Will I hear, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant?’”
These are fears that I believe come with the territory of ministry to anyone who chooses to enter the vineyard of the Lord, the harvest field or shepherds God’s people. Fears come because of our humanness, the nature of the work, and the attack of our adversary. But they need not be disabling for the antidote for these fears is found in God, Himself. 1 John 4:16 – So we have come to know and believe the love God has for us. The NIV says verse 16 this way, and so we know and rely on the love God has for us. That truth has become my ground for standing through the onslaughts of untimely, unreasonable and merciless fears. I am not relying on myself in the venture of being God’s servant but on the love He has for me and as 1 John goes on to say, perfect love casts out fear!
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